


Nothing's Impossible (Depeche Mode)

by blackheat



Series: songfic [2]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, POV First Person, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-18
Updated: 2012-08-18
Packaged: 2017-11-27 12:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/662217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackheat/pseuds/blackheat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They had a fight and Kame was left behind to think better of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing's Impossible (Depeche Mode)

 

The front door was slammed with a loud thud as Jin left the flat in painful silence and a furious me behind. The noise was just as sudden as a slap on the face. My feature contracted to bear the hard wave of noise caused by the wooden object, and I bit back the anger that also added to my growing headache.

‘Fucking Jerk!’

I cursed and dropped myself onto my fancy couch, pressing one of my palms to my forehead. If that could help to push back the pain that came from nowhere and right now tortured my mind mercilessly. If only that could help… but it didn’t.

Just an hour ago when I came back home there was nothing about it. My mood was not the best after that tiring day I have had behind me, but I wouldn’t say it was bad. You were sitting on the couch watching TV when I stepped into the room. You didn’t even look up from the screen, waving a lazy ‘Yo!’ to me. Well, I didn’t expect anything more from you. It’s not like you would have waited for me back home with a warm dinner and a hot bath. I knew you are not a housewife or something like that.

Though the glory of emptied beer cans and fast-food boxes around you, they told me more about your whole day activities than your words. I didn’t have to ask at all. Yes, I admit it did my nuts in no minute, but it’s not that much when a certain friend of yours called you. Yamapi had a sixth sense to call, when the most inappropriate was. For examples, when we prepared to leave city for the weekend that we planned for a while, or when we just stayed home and watched movies as we cuddled up. Or when we had a mind-blowing sex after weeks being apart.

Yes, I admit I lost mind patience after you agreed so easily to meet him. You didn’t even asked me what I would like to do. Because you were bored. You were bored and needed to hang around with your buddies.

‘Then go! Go the Hell!’ I screamed into your face and you did the same. You had shouted back at me what the fuck I had, but you didn’t wait for my answer, you just rushed out of that door, pissed. You were pissed and that made me even more annoyed. I felt like those negative emotions which were piled up in me were ready to rape me inside because I couldn’t let them out in time. I couldn’t handle them and now my body has to pay the price. The pain shot into my brain-cells harder than before when I gave in and sunk into my couch, boneless.

_‘Just give me a reason, some kind of sign_  
 _I'll need a miracle to help me this time’_

The silence started to heal my head, but made my heart clench hurt in my chest as a side effect. That was not right. Neither way was it good. I wanted you to be by my side so strongly like a little kid that hugs the poor cat almost drowning it. I think I was close to choke you. You told me before that I didn’t listen to you. You talked to me, but I didn’t sense your words. You wanted me to stop overworking myself, but I didn’t listen to you. I should have read between the lines, so that I would have noticed your S.O.S. signs. You were right.

_‘I heard what you said, and I feel the same_  
 _I know in my heart that I'll have to change’_

You have always cared about me and listened to what I have told you. You surrounded me like a fluffy blanket keeping me warm and safe. When I felt down or stressed, your words sank deep inside me and healed my soul. You were my medicine. When you kissed me and told me those soft and comforting words, I really believed everything is going to be all right.

_‘Even the stars look brighter tonight_  
 _Nothing's impossible_  
 _I still believe in love at first sight_  
 _Nothing's impossible’_

Whenever I remembered this, I felt like shit. I was not worth to be talked to at all. My eyes blind and my ears were deaf at your healing words. I have done this all to myself, all these years. All those fucking years, when you had the face to warned me. You tried everything, from pleading to yelling. I haven’t listened enough. I haven’t listened to you at all. Now you are ignoring me and didn’t talk to me.

_‘How did we get to be this far apart?_  
 _How did we get to be this far apart?_  
 _I want to be with you, have something to share_  
 _I want to be here, I am not there’_

I was not there were you were. I was alone in my flat, balled up on my couch in silence. My hands were still pressing hard the two side of my temple, though the pain almost faded away. I was still angry but it’s rather at myself than you. I felt sick from those disgusting feelings which have taken over on my own body and made me spit those horrible words at you. I wanted to get lost of them already, push out of them like irritating pimples. I wanted to vomit to feel relief.

I knew even If I have had stood there, pretending there had been nothing happened, I wouldn’t have been able to sleep at all. I would have tossed and turned around until I would felt totally exhausted. Until your key would have clacked in the clock of the front door hours later, and you would have stumbled through it totally wasted. I knew you enough that you wouldn’t let those words keep hurting you. You have worked out your time-honored method of getting lost of tenseness. I shouldn’t have blamed you for that.

I wouldn’t have done nothing for my own and it would have been eating me up inside until I would felt your weight sank deep into the mattress next to me, and you would have whispered a ‘sorry’, even if you thought I didn’t hear it at all in my pretended sleep. I would have heard, and it would have made me feel even miserable. I would be aware of the fact that if I didn’t let out my frustrations on you earlier, you wouldn’t have run to Pi and drown your pain that I caused you into the alcohol. I knew pretty well I have hurt you in the moment when those damned words flowed out from my mouth.

I wanted to tell you the same kind of words like you have done to me back then, but I always failed. Maybe my mouth was filled only with dirty things. The pressure I got during my work grew an atonic ulcer inside me that was fed by those negative emotions. Only by thinking of that made me disgusted at myself. My biggest fear was that I have been at an advanced stage already. No one could help me.

I didn’t need anyone to help. I needed only you and your kind words. Before the headache could have sneaked back from the tears I was busy to hold back, I stood up and ran after you. I jumped into my car, brushing off the wet lines on the two sides on my face, clearing my view as well. My finger was scrolling down on my phone’s contact lists, which took not that long since Akanishi starts with an ‘A’ and it’s the first letter in alphabet. I was not intended to call you. I sent you only those few lines you had told me before. Despite I have wrote a lot of lyrics by myself and was able to memorize long texts while acting, I couldn’t come up with anything else than this. I was lame, I knew, but I didn’t care and stepped on gas.

  
“I’ll pick you up soon.  
I still believe in love at first sight,  
Nothing’s impossible!”

_‘Even the stars look brighter tonight_  
 _Nothing's impossible_  
 _I still believe in love at first sight_  
 _Nothing's impossible’_


End file.
